Thursday 24th – Another new doctor, this time it’s my new gp. First thing I discover
is that despite my requesting my old gp still hasn’t set over my file/notes. I can look for them under the data protection act but Jane, yay I’m now dealing with a lady, said I
shouldn’t have to go down that road and gives me a letter to deliver with the hopes it will speed things up. She says she doesn’t need my history as I’m obviously on top of that but does need recent communication from consultants. She then asks me my history. Bob
is sitting beside me and I start, at one stage I glance at Bob and his eyes have welled up, first time I’ve seen this, then I look at Jane and I can see the look of total shock at my history on her face. This now makes me very wobbly, I know what I’ve been through and I deal with each time as it comes and goes but I detest having to relate the entire story because in my mind its horrific and I wonder yet again why I’m going through this. In
fairness to Jane she says I’m probably sick of doctors so isn’t even going to take my blood pressure, tells me to try again and get the notes and to see her in a few weeks. I leave with head spinning again, don’t like these reality checks. That evening we go for a walk along the pier, slowly, but it is good to be beside the sea. I think there is something wonderfully healing coming from the sound and smell of the sea.
Friday 25th – I play golf, badly, but so what, I actually got out and played but am completely shattered. I also drove for the first time today. Wish I still had my automatic!
The weekend continued with Ireland beating Scotland in the 6 nations and on the Monday I was back for more dressings. Silver nitrate used again, beginning to hate those sticks as they leave a feeling of being burned afterwards. Monday is a big day in the house as The Boy starts his leaving cert mocks. I really feel I’ve been neglecting him and remind myself to give words of encouragement. I hope, for his own sake, he does ok. Bob also returned to working in the office this morning so I have the house to myself. Tuesday I went up to the golf club to meet some of the girls for lunch. I’m not a member long so it was with some trepidation I went in, knew everyone would know what was going on and sure I couldn’t remember half their names. I was exhausted from all the questions but at
least now I’ve done it and it won’t be so hard the next time. Played 4 holes with 2 balls am still shattered.
Wednesday 2nd March – back in for dressings, still on 48hr review. I’m doing ok donor
sites no longer dressed and it really is just the location that’s causing the slow healing on the graft site. More bloody silver nitrate, agh go away!!
Thursday 3rd – Tough day today, was at a funeral this morning and met the widow of someone, similar age to myself who died last summer of a melanoma. We spoke at
length. He presented with a spot on the sole of his foot, no mole, freckle or anything, flip this sounds a bit like me. She said it was a very aggressive form, know she was being nice but no it’s same type as this. He’s had spread, they travelled to States, UK and somewhere else, brain dead again, and he also did the interferon, she said the side effects were awful, he lasted 2 years. Well I’ve lasted 22 years so far so can only think he was a better
person than I after all don’t they say only the good die young. What else can I think? Up to club for lunch and played 15 holes, got shattered on the 12th, bucked up for the 15th but must remember to get red bull for my bag to keep me going. Wall falling with tiredness but then again so is The Boy from the mocks – feedback is mixed! He has no exam tomorrow so don’t expect to see him before noon.