Would prefer Pro-Active to Conservative

Tuesday 15th March – Yesterday was another mad, tiring day. Ended up having 3 appointments at ½ hourly slots! Well, let us just say that was the plan but with delays etc. didn’t quite work out that way. Felt a bit stressed yesterday morning, so by the time we left the house at 12 I’d already 2 lines of washing out, another in the machine, dinner cooked and had gone to see one of the golf teams tee off and wish them the best of luck. They lost.

So first up was dressing change, back into the tiny treatment room, got a bit crowded yesterday as had 2 nurses and Denis again. Yet more disagreements as to how to proceed, sometimes too many cooks do spoil the broth. Well, it’s still just about there just one area still completely open and infected. This is really becoming a pain, so off I go with more dressings and antibiotic ointment to manage myself at home but also confused as to exactly what to do they disagreed so much. Back in on Wednesday, oh no had planned to play golf with OH, he’s not happy, nothing I can do as no one there Thursday plus even if there was I wouldn’t be able to get across town, flip with this ever bloody well end? So over now for bloods. It has turned into a maze, they have moved the place so more wandering around and I finally arrive, should have kept going as this really wasn’t fun. I have terrible veins, really terrible, I used to attempt to give blood and they were delighted with me because of my blood group until they went to try and get some. First problem is do I have any veins? Second is how much can they get before it shuts down? Thirdly and finally they said thanks very much but we’d prefer not to see you again ha ha. Well it all started again yesterday. He tried right hand side, then left hand side, back to right hand side, arm, hand, all repeated again on left hand side, are you getting dizzy yet because I was. Eventually he gave up and called over another phlebotomist and she repeated the whole thing again. Now I’m getting worried as my understanding is that I will be giving lots of blood over the next 18 months at 4 weekly intervals – Don’t Think Ahead!!!! So back to the blood, yay she is finally in, OMG the size of the test tubes that have to be filled, vein please don’t collapse. Finished! Phew!

Now to diagnostics, check in, more waiting, finally I’m called, funnily enough by the same assistant who called me back on 24th January and not only that, she remembers me. I am surprised as she must have 100’s through every day. She is lovely and brings me into the ultrasound room and stays and chats. Eventually another doctor comes in, a female for a change. She goes through my original scans, asks what prompted me to be here, the entire story is related again, she questions why I haven’t had a PET Scan, well we know the answer to that one don’t we?? She is really very nice and explains that sometimes cancer cells can travel to the lymph nodes and bypass the sentinel gland. She is there to see are their cortex 3mm+ – if they are she will send me onto someone else for a fine needle aspiration, FNA. Gee I’m getting good at this. Thankfully everything appears to be normal so that is a relief. Or is it? The entire afternoon takes 3 hours, and I’m tired. I come home really not in the best of form at all. Is it a relief? Of course it is, I don’t want this bloody thing in my lymph system. Did I want a FNA, no I didn’t but maybe I did. Thinking back to 2001 when I was 1mm inside the guidelines for further treatment, I can’t help but wonder if I’d received treatment then would I have missed out on all the fun I’ve had since. I don’t know and no one will ever be able to answer that for me. The question still remains. So did I want a FNA, probably yes, this time I don’t want them saying I’m slightly outside guidelines, or nodes are slightly big but not big enough, I want everyone to be far more pro-active and do everything. I’m not squeamish, I don’t cry like a baby; therefore I’m not going to complain at another needle. Does this make sense? I don’t know all I know is that I went to bed with a migraine.

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About carnsoreboxer

Mad housewife and mother who enjoys golfing, reading and travelling
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