April 8th – have had an up and down couple of weeks. Someone else got ill in the family and has had surgery, however, where I wished her all the best I really couldn’t face being her support. I feel I’m in a positive place most of the time and she was very negative.
Furthermore I felt that suddenly I was forgotten about, yes I’m up and around and playing probably too much golf, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need support. I may not ask for it but I do expect OH just to be able to read my mind! Had a long chat with him, well a very teary one to be honest, and he didn’t get it in my opinion. We then went away for the night and that I feel helped us to reconnect. As a male friend of mine says, he has probably used his sisters illness to distract his stress from me, which, when I think about it, makes perfect sense. Oh dear, Men really are from Mars and Women from Venus and yes we do expect you men to be mind readers!!!
The night away helped me lots. I had very long walks by the sea and fell physically and mentally refreshed. The thought of the interferon is lying very heavily on my mind and people are beginning to ask me when I’m starting which is really making it all the more
real. I feel so well now that the thought of injecting myself with something which may or may not make me ill is just not a good one. The fact, also, that it has no proven success rate isn’t filling me with glee either, nor is the fact that I’ve to bloody well inject myself. Ok bury that thought for another few weeks.
I have been frantically trying to make the appointment with the general surgeon for the sentinel lymph node biopsy. Last Thursday I got a missed call, actually to be honest I was on the golf course when the secretary phoned. I rang her back just after 4 to get a voicemail saying the office would be closed until Tuesday afternoon. Not only do these consultants know how to charge they also seem to be cutting their secretaries hours down. This is not the first time I’ve come across this. So got through the weekend and
decided to just go ahead and organise whatever plans were on the horizon. I cannot and won’t put my life on hold and after all I can cancel if needs be. It is a very busy time for us golfers at the moment with inter-club matches starting which mean practice rounds etc.
Not even being in the club a year yet I didn’t think I would have any involvement this year – eh no, I’m on 4 panels and as of now am sub for 2, caddying for another category and was asked today to play another match, more about this in a minute. I’m really
surprised as haven’t brought in a good score in my new club since I was accepted last April, can only think they see the competitive side to me somehow, aren’t they just spot on, I hate to lose!!! Anyway, Tuesday I miss another call, yes you’re right I was on the golf course again!!!
So the conversation goes like this;-
Hi this is Frances you need an appointment with Mr K, when would suit you?
Well first apologies for missing your calls but what day does he actually sit?
He sits on Wednesdays however he’s completely booked for the following 2 weeks so when would suit?
Well if he only sits on a Wednesday it will do fine?
Are you sure? (Am I completely missing something here, the man only sits on Wednesdays so what bloody choice do I have, do these people listen to what they are actually saying?)
Yes Wednesday will be fine.
That’s terrific, we will see you so on Wednesday 20th at 2pm and the cost will be €200!!!
That’s when I picked myself up off the floor. This man is supposed to be doing a sentinel lymph node biopsy, he has my charts and all the tests I’ve had done. He is either going to do it or not. I know what the procedure involves. He can either decide not to do it or arrange to see me in theatre. I can see absolutely no reason why I’m seeing him on the 20th to be told either he’s not doing it, where I kick up stink or alternatively that he will see me in theatre on such and such a date. A complete waste of time and money in my opinion!!!
So today I’m asked to play in Hermitage on 29th and Knightstbrook on 12th May. I explain that I am unable to commit to anything until I have this appointment on the 20th, no problem, then I get home and I get a phone call asking me to play a match on 29th. Yet again I give my standard response. Agh this is so frustrating.
On the other hand it is superb weather at the moment. I made the big mistake of going for a marathon walk on Wednesday in my fitflops and only went and cut the feet off myself. I thought as I’d worn them in Egypt in December I wouldn’t need to summer break them in. Ouch! Spent this morning on the golf course and sat in the sun this afternoon. No I’m not completely stupid, I did have protection factor and a hat on but I’m sure my doctors would have a fit. I, on the other hand, love the sun and the heat at my back which I stupidly hurt playing golf on Tuesday. I am not prepared to spend my entire life in the shade. Life is for living! Since I’ve written this I’ve discovered that doctors don’t want me to spend my life in the shade just not to get sunburnt!