7th June – So tomorrow is D Day on a number of accounts. It’s my OH’s birthday, doesn’t mean a lot to him but I always look on my birthday as being my special day and therefore feel everyone else should feel the same. He is not in good form, avoiding me at all costs which I am totally putting down to stress. I know he is worried about me but suspect the level of stress at the moment has more to do with his job. There are worldwide cuts including Irish ones on the horizon and having dodged the reorg a number of times already I know he is worried that this time might be the time he gets the tap on the shoulder. He keeps saying that every year is a bonus and I do agree with him. Fingers crossed he is worrying unnecessarily but I don’t like seeing him so stressed out and always worry about his health when he is like this.
Tomorrow is also the day The Boy starts his leaving cert. He is very anxious, not saying anything, never says much anyhow, but I know by him, mother’s instinct, that he is up the walls. I know too not to look at him crooked. The leaving cert is such an unfair exam. In my opinion it favours bright students with good memories who can cram and remember for the short time they need to, whereas, students like my lad, who have worked consistently since they started school, yes it’s true I have never in my life had to ask him to either do his homework or study, but who isn’t strong academically and suffers with exam nerves it just doesn’t suit at all. All I want is for him to be happy and get an offer of some course in August because I have no doubt that should he be lucky enough to get into college he will bloom academically. I am very proud of his either way.
Tomorrow is also the day I return for my post op check up with the general surgeon. I still haven’t received any results, I think that’s weird, but I will know all tomorrow. I played golf yesterday, very well as it happens, however, leg didn’t feel the best afterwards and I’d a lump the size of a golf ball on my recent surgical site – not good I guess. I am, however, in much better form, this surgery really did knock the stuffing out of my both physically and emotionally for some reason or another.
The media has been full of treatment breakthroughs for melanoma this weekend. I have had lots of people onto me; however, the media haven’t quite got it right. I have read the pharmaceutical reports and for some people it will prolong their lives but it is not a cure. Still, not to be pessimistic, it is a step in the right direction. One of the drugs, Ipi, is the drug of choice for me but whereas it will be licensed in the UK in August there is no chance of it happening here. I can’t even get a BRAF test done; it is all very frustrating but means I’ll have more questions again for my oncologist at my next visit. So I will motor on, really not looking forward to tomorrow on all accounts, and, as I stated last September, the priority and focus in this house is our son. I wish him the very best of luck!