D-DAY IS LOOMING AND I HATE IT

30thJune – My pre interferon haircut and highlights.  Nice job could have gone a
bit shorter in my opinion and the highlights will have to stretch for months.  I was very quiet as looking at my hair falling to the ground and having spoken to a lady who was on interferon in 2008 and lost most of her hair to the point where it was a choice between a
wig or scarf the questions arise once again.  Grr I really do hate this and to make matters worse despite doing my back and core strength exercises every morning I pulled something in my back.  It’s not quite killing me and I do plan to play golf today but wonder if I’ll put in back into place or totally wreck it.

While I was in the hairdressers Labi Siffre’s song Something Inside so Strong, came on the loop.  I know this song well and it is about apartheid in South Africa.  In my head I sang along but once in the car put in playing at top volume and played it all the way home.  I’ve decided this is going to be my song over the coming months.  I do have something
inside me that is very strong and I will call on it daily I’m sure.  I also plan to play a lot of Bob Marley – you do know that he died because of MM

1st July – I’ve hurt my bloody back.  It’s an old injury and I do have to mind it.  Every morning I religiously do my core strength and back exercises as well as my stretching.  Yesterday, while making the bed I lifted a cushion and immediately felt a twang, ouch.
It’s sore and I’m heading into the bath with Epsom salts to see if I can relieve it.  Just had a thought today,  it goes approximately every 6 months but I do think it is stress related.
This interferon again I bet.  For some odd reason lots of people were asking me last night when I was starting treatment and I feel my body is just completely wound up at the moment.  I am finding it very hard to relax at it feels as if there is a great big cloud hanging over me.  The last time my back went was just before my appointment in December, the one which was cancelled, to find out exactly what this thing was that was growing on my leg.

Definitely stress – need to run away!

Just about to sit down now with The Boy to finalise his CAO form as today is the last day for change of mind.  He has been great, has researched all the courses his originally applied for, hasn’t really changed his mind as such but it appears the order is changed.

This is really a stressful year – huge understatement!

Was thinking in bed last night that I have nothing to look forward to, I always like to have something good on the horizon no matter when it is, it is just something that keeps me going and smiling but all I can picture at the moment is interferon.  I need something to lift my spirits and to make me laugh and my back isn’t helping.

4th July – Well tomorrow is D-Day and I feel sick.  Haven’t been feeling great all
weekend but know it’s just stress related. Yesterday was our wedding anniversary.  We are usually away for it, and this year I didn’t even feel like going out for a meal.  We made it low key, an Indian and a few, yes 2, drinks.  I just cannot relax at the moment; this interferon is like a black cloud hanging over me.

Today I had arranged to play golf with a pal.  After a few holes I began to really enjoy it
and she was great for keeping me uplifted.  We ended up having a fun round followed by some lunch.  Then driving home that sick feeling appeared again.  Finally I persuaded myself to go to the chemist to collect it.  Ha they couldn’t find it, my pharmacist wasn’t there.  Yes I was tempted to say nothing but in the end told them to look in the
fridge, I knew it was there.  So I came home carrying 10 small boxes.  Naturally
I couldn’t but open one of them and have a look.  Yikes, a syringe and a needle.  Didn’t look that close at the needle, looked big enough in the casing.  I, foolishly, decided to read the pamphlet which came with it.  The particular type of interferon I’m on is roferon Alpha 2.  It is used for loads of different medical problems, normal dosage 3 mill iu’s 3 days per week for up to 12 weeks except me, it’s supposed to be for 18 months except I will be
increasing to 9 mill iu’s.  The reason for this is that sub cut interferon was usually given to MM patients following 5 weeks of iv interferon which my oncologist doesn’t think is any more beneficial.

Enough of that, I now have it, it’s in the fridge and the nurse/doctor will arrive tomorrow and I’ll start.  Think is works out at 300+ injections or as long as my body will stick it.  I have been advised to keep a diary so this blog is probably as easy as any other way of doing it.

Next time I write I will have given myself an injection – really cannot get my head around that one!

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About carnsoreboxer

Mad housewife and mother who enjoys golfing, reading and travelling
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